Help!!!!

I have major problems! Well okay maybe not major but I have issues. I've wanted Photoshop for a really really really long time. I see what everyone does with their photos out there and I have longed and dreamed of being able to work the same magic with mine. I was absolutely estatic when I got it for Mothers Day this year..I got Elements which was exactly what I wanted since I knew that digging deep into the full version would be way too much for me to start with. So I loaded it onto my computer and now I have no freakin idea what in the hell to do with it. I've played and played some more and I'm lost....it is like a complete maze and I have no idea where to start. So that's where you all come in...well those of you that edit and use photoshop I suppose. I'm begging...down on my knees begging for help. I'll do anything...well almost anything for you :) but I need help. Is there like a Photoshop for Dummies out there or something? Or something I'm just missing...surely it can't be this difficult. I started trying to edit this picture last night...I took it of Allie outside the other day...one of the main things I wanted to do with it was to brighten her eyes up alittle..the way the sun was made her eyes appear alot darker than they are...those of you that follow me know that she has the brightest most beautiful blue eyes ever and they just don't look that way in this picture. I want to try and get the shadows off her face and I just want it to be beautiful...of course she's beautiful without editing but I can't figure it out. I got so mad at it last night I almost said very dirty things to Photoshop. So here I am pleading for help...give me all the tips you've got and I'll be in debt forever to you!

Which way is right?

Have you ever been so confused and miserable that you don't know which way is up? Ever feel like you are blamed for someone elses problems? And to top it all off what do we do when we are upset other than shove our faces full of food. This is the worst time in the world to have a house full of Halloween candy!!!! I am eating like crazy! I've had a really bad couple of days and I am to the point right now that I don't know which way to go next. I have alot of soul searching to do in the very near future and my heart is extremely heavy. My brain is so confused and full of thoughts that I don't know which way to turn now. My heart aches so badly I don't know how to dig my out of this hole. Funny how we always look at pictures and see the "picture perfect family" or "the grass is always greener on the other side" kind of thinking. I have never asked for anything extravagant or over the top..I just want my life back right now. Please forgive me if this is jumbled and confusing for that just mirrors my life right now. I had to get it out somewhere...so why not here right...that's the joy of having a blog. Or at least that's what I'll tell myself.

Ever wonder?

My camera is broken so I'm having to use my older camera to take pics right now. I haven't found the usb for it yet so I haven't had time to load new pics. I have to send my newer camera off to try and get it fixed with Kodak. I have so many other things on my mind right now though.

Do you ever feel as a parent that you just aren't good enough?

I have been experiencing these feelings for a while now. Seems like I just can't quite get it all right. I have no idea what happened to my older two over the summer but they got out of control. Don't get me wrong deep down they are great kids. When they're in public they are very respectful of others,polite and extremely kind. You always hear it's what they do in public that matters but I sure would like alittle of that at home too. Seems for the past few months it has been nothing but chaos around here. What I would give for alittle peace.

Constant fighting,picking,being disrespectful,talking back and I could go on and on. My oldest for some reason started and his younger brother of course wants to be just like him. I have tried everything I know of...they're on restrictions...I've taken things away..video games...they can't go anywhere..no one can come over here...earlier bedtime and nothing works. I am out of ideas.

When I get really exhausted and can't think straight I blame it on myself. Am I doing something wrong? Am I not what they need? Why can't I get them to behave and be kind to each other and others in this house? Most of all how do you stop the whining from an almost 8 year old? That is one of the most annoying things...when he doesn't get his way it leads to persistent whining and crying and literally pitching a fit. Is this normal? I can't help but feel like I should be doing something different but I can't figure out what it is.

Frustrated doesn't begin to explain how I feel right now.

Ever feel like you're just failing..like you're not doing a good job and they are just trying to tell you in their own way? I go through days and feel so alone at times. Hubby works extremely long hours and is rarely home. When he is he's either at baseball with boys or playing it himself. To say that I am solo on getting things accomplished is no understatement. That's exhausting in itself! When he comes home he tries to help but that help is automatic yelling and fighting. Funny thing is most of the time they don't listen when you speak in a regular voice. Heck..half the time they don't listen at all.

I feel like I can breathe alittle now...at least it's all off my chest. I suppose I feel alittle better....after all I can gripe..it is my blog,right?