Ever?

Ever feel like you just can't catch up for anything in the world? I am feeling that way today and I'm beginning to get frustrated beyond words. I wanna just give up right now.

Everything started a few years ago when David worked for a company that screwed us over with health insurance and we ended up with a $3000 bill that we had to pay. It took us forever to pay that off and when we finally did David hurt his back at work and ended up out for several weeks. When David's back started acting up again we knew we were in trouble...he was out of work for about 2 months and we had medical bills out the yahzoo and no money coming in. We made a deal with his company after him being out for about 1 month that they would pay him as a regular 40 hour a week employee and then when he went back to work any overtime he got would go straight to them until they were paid off. While we needed the money at the time and couldn't have done it without being paid someway it ended up being the biggest mistake ever....it took what seemed like forever to pay them back in full. After he was out that time we got short term disability so that if anything happened again we wouldn't be stuck in the same situation and asking people for money. Then David lost his job...he was out of work for about a month before he found the job he is currently at right now. He loves where he's at and is very happy...downside is that they don't have short term disability and he didn't hurt his back on the job so here we are again.

We've spent the last couple of years just trying to catch up. We've had family that have worked with us and been supportive thank goodness but we've been trying to come from behind forever now it seems like. Last month is the first month in a very long time that we were "okay"....we were able to meet and pay everything that we needed to...we had finally caught up. We were still living week to week and trying to save money that we had caught up and were on the upswing....things were looking better. Then yesterday David went to the chiropractor and they took xrays of his back. His L4 and L5 are still messed up but his L5 is "in horrible shape" with almost no meat back there at all. His doctor says that he thinks he can keep him out of surgery but that it is going to take a lot of time and work(which first of all is the most important thing!) He told him he wanted him out of work for the time being though...right now until Wednesday but after Wednesday they would reevaluate and it may be longer. We finally caught up and now here we are again. We are going to be behind again because he's not working. Not to mention that when you go to the doctor you have to pay everytime...nice except when you're not working then where is that money supposed to come from. I honestly am starting to think that there is someone up there that just doesn't want us to be ahead with smooth sailing. We struggle and struggle and pull ourselves up out of the dirt only to be knocked down again. I just don't get it and am so frustrated right now. Really there's just no other way to put it.

On another subject we played baseball again last night and they won. We play tonight again at 6. This is the game that determines it all...if we win then we head to state..if we don't then we're done. Here's hoping for another win!!! The kids have worked so hard and we want it so bad we can taste it!!!!

I'm behind on reading blogs...really I'm going to try to catch up but last night I was so upset when I sat down to read and blog it just wasn't there. I really had nothing left in me. Be patient...I'll catch up soon!