Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Ever feel like you just can't catch up for anything in the world? I am feeling that way today and I'm beginning to get frustrated beyond words. I wanna just give up right now.

Everything started a few years ago when David worked for a company that screwed us over with health insurance and we ended up with a $3000 bill that we had to pay. It took us forever to pay that off and when we finally did David hurt his back at work and ended up out for several weeks. When David's back started acting up again we knew we were in trouble...he was out of work for about 2 months and we had medical bills out the yahzoo and no money coming in. We made a deal with his company after him being out for about 1 month that they would pay him as a regular 40 hour a week employee and then when he went back to work any overtime he got would go straight to them until they were paid off. While we needed the money at the time and couldn't have done it without being paid someway it ended up being the biggest mistake ever....it took what seemed like forever to pay them back in full. After he was out that time we got short term disability so that if anything happened again we wouldn't be stuck in the same situation and asking people for money. Then David lost his job...he was out of work for about a month before he found the job he is currently at right now. He loves where he's at and is very happy...downside is that they don't have short term disability and he didn't hurt his back on the job so here we are again.

We've spent the last couple of years just trying to catch up. We've had family that have worked with us and been supportive thank goodness but we've been trying to come from behind forever now it seems like. Last month is the first month in a very long time that we were "okay"....we were able to meet and pay everything that we needed to...we had finally caught up. We were still living week to week and trying to save money that we had caught up and were on the upswing....things were looking better. Then yesterday David went to the chiropractor and they took xrays of his back. His L4 and L5 are still messed up but his L5 is "in horrible shape" with almost no meat back there at all. His doctor says that he thinks he can keep him out of surgery but that it is going to take a lot of time and work(which first of all is the most important thing!) He told him he wanted him out of work for the time being though...right now until Wednesday but after Wednesday they would reevaluate and it may be longer. We finally caught up and now here we are again. We are going to be behind again because he's not working. Not to mention that when you go to the doctor you have to pay everytime...nice except when you're not working then where is that money supposed to come from. I honestly am starting to think that there is someone up there that just doesn't want us to be ahead with smooth sailing. We struggle and struggle and pull ourselves up out of the dirt only to be knocked down again. I just don't get it and am so frustrated right now. Really there's just no other way to put it.

On another subject we played baseball again last night and they won. We play tonight again at 6. This is the game that determines it all...if we win then we head to state..if we don't then we're done. Here's hoping for another win!!! The kids have worked so hard and we want it so bad we can taste it!!!!

I'm behind on reading blogs...really I'm going to try to catch up but last night I was so upset when I sat down to read and blog it just wasn't there. I really had nothing left in me. Be patient...I'll catch up soon!


Alicia said...

Hi Stephanie,
I'll be praying for your husbands back, and also for his job situation.

I want to encourage you to read Matthew 6:25-34.


Vicky said...

Yes, ever, many times. I've been where you are and the grace of God saw us through. Don't give up! I learned when I let go of the fear and constant worry and decided that regardless of whether or not I could pay the bills, I would still be okay, it got better. I didn't feel so helpless and powerless anymore. Feel free to email me if you need support or ideas!!

Hugs and prayers sweety! And GO TEAM!! Can't wait to hear how they do!!

Alicia W. said...

I'm so sorry Stephanie that you guys are going through this. It's frustrating and I know it hurts you to no end. I will pray for you guys and your husbands health. You know if you ever need to vent, cry, laugh you can call on me anytime. I'm not that far away.. I will pack a bag and pick up a bottle of wine and call it a night. :o)

E @ Scottsville said...

Yes, I sure feel like we can't catch up financially!!!

And I also feel like I can't catch up on 'my house'. It just seems like its gotten too crowded and cleaning it is almost impossible. I mean we can clean the surface, but the STUFF seems piled here and there and everywhere. Too cluttered!!!

I need to 'move' just to declutter!

Hang in there... we all feel like you do sometimes. Me - more times than not!


Cassie said...

I'm sorry you are so frustrated! I know I would be too in that situation. Just hang in there, things will eventually get better.

Everyday Mom Designs said...

I hope you guys catch a break.. I know you need it.. I keep feeling somewhat the same way.. It seems like we keep pushing to get things done, and then something happens to ruin our financial plans.. Last week we were stuck.. we didn't get the money we were supposed to get, so we were eating everything left in the pantry.. peanut butter quasadillas! yum! haha... But now this week, Kevin has pulled us through and we're making tons of money and not counting on other people anymore (though we still expect that money at some point).. It's hard for us, b/c during rough times, we can't help but think of the stability that the military gave us.. but we chose to no longer live that life... And we know it's worth it... Still makes it hard though..

I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to unload... lol.. I hope things are better soon and I'm sure you guys will figure something out.. Until then, feel free to vent to me. :)

drewmark19 said...

I've been thinking about you many times today. Money issues are one of the hugest stressers. Mark and I are lucky that we have great health insurance (and health), but we also realize that it could be gone at any minute. I pray you can get a calm in the midst of this storm.

Now, cleaning? You're doing much better at that than me. We have cousins coming in on Thursday, and my house is a disaster. Panic mode needs to set in like NOW so I can get my butt in gear. :)

amanda said...

god is good. and god provides. remember those two things. and i love the scripture alicia shared with you. it's perfect for this. i've been feeling this way a lot lately too. and then at church those same scriptures were shared, and it totally spoke to my heart. hope they speak to yours as well!

Veronica said...

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. It took a lot of courage for you to post about something so personal here on your blog. I will be praying that things will get better for you guys. God promised us he would never leave us. I know it might not be easy to deal with the reality of bills piling up and the worry that comes with it all...believe me...I've been there, but the next time you feel an attack coming on, say a little prayer. As the Lord to give you peace. I'll be praying for you:)