Thursday, June 18, 2009

Back to Reality

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since the scariest night of my life...the night Caleb fell in the pool was truly one of the most horrifying experiences I have been through. The first few days after his accident I spent the large majority of my time thinking about every second leading up to when he fell in. I found myself thinking about life in general and was absolutely shaken to my core when I thought about how close I came to actually losing him. I actually found it difficult to go there several times because when I did I fell apart. I'd go in his room while he was sleep the first couple of nights home from the hospital and simply watch him breathe just like I did when he first came home from the hospital after he was born. As the days have passed by I've found myself thinking about it alittle less...getting more and more consumed with the everyday stuff that goes on. I still have moments that I go back to that night and how terrifying it was but they are spread farther apart now.

Yesterday I was looking through a folder of pictures on my computer...I have tons and tons that I haven't looked through yet. I found the pictures from the night of the pool party and one of them stood out like a neon sign. I remember taking this was taken right after I took his life vest off and he was playing with a ball. I was right beside him at the time and at the same time I clicked I told him to get away from the side of the pool. I remember taking him aside right after that with the ball in my hand(that I had gotten out of the pool)and telling him that he couldn't do that because he might fall in. He went about to another area and played some more. Looking back this picture gives me chills because there isn't a doubt in my mind that this is most likely how he ended up in the pool. Looking back I think of everything I could have done differently...I should have just taken him away from the pool,taken the ball away,held him in my arms and not let him's all going through my mind.

Ironically right after I found this picture we got the mail and looky what paid us a visit yesterday. It was the bill from his hospital stay. Now remember we got to the hospital about 10 pm on Friday night and left about 9 am Saturday morning....we weren't even there for 12 hours. Now it was definitely needed and I do not regret going....but seriously..we were there for 12 freakin hours!

Look at the total!

The price for medical care these days is completely out of control!!!!

On the back of our hospital bills it breaks things down and tells you what the charges were for. It's got to be the most expensive hotel in town...we went to his room at 1:00 AM and left at 9:00 AM. For 8 hours in the room they charged us $785.00
Then comes the physician fee...I told David I wondered exactly what that that for our doctor or would it be the doctor that was on call at the hospital...the one that met us in our room after they moved us to the pediatric floor...the one that spent a total of 5 minutes in our room...held a stethoscope to his chest and looked in his throat...all for a total charge or $234.60 for 5 minutes remember.

My goodness....I think I know what profession I need to go into! Seriously I know that we needed to go and I couldn't have lived with myself if we didn't...but when I saw what they charged us for 12 hours of care my mouth fell open. Then on the back it tells you of course that you may receive additional bills for radiology and from the actual doctor at your pediatricians office...I'm sure we have those coming...the joys of the mail truck.


Stacy said...

I am so glad that Caleb was ok.

Remember my NYC trip when Noah got sick and we had to go to the hospital? Well we didn't even spend the night. We got there at 8am and left about 7 pm. When I got that bill for $27,000 I about fainted!!!! Yes I wrote $27,000!

Of course my insurance paid almost all of it but still 12 hours and it was in the thousands?

McCrakensx4 said...

What a scary memory...i can't imagine the feeling. Colin has spent some time in the hospital but for nothing like that. And I agree with you on the outrageous amounts the hospital charges. My hysterectomy was almost $30,000. YIKES! I hope that he is not having any reprecutions since the accident.

Jiff said...

Oh, I am holding back. I don't need to get started on how ridiculous the charges are!!! And I work in healthcare!

I'm just glad Caleb is okay. I noticed his photo isn't on your lineup. I see you, your husband and your 3 other kids...

Veronica said...

I am so glad the things are starting to get better for you in regards to remembering that night. I know as moms we blame ourselves for every little thing and dwell on all the what if's in situations like that. I'm glad that everything turned out alright in the end:)

Now about that hospital bill...that's just ridiculous. It's amazing how much they charge. It seriously shouldn't be legal what they're doing!!! I freaked out when I received our bill from the hospital after Audrey...a lot of it had to be paid out of pocket because we have private insurance. Sometimes I just get so mad because it's just such a rip off. Anyhow...enough of me ranting...the good news is there's such thing as payment plans, thank the Lord!!!

Stephanie said...

Wow I don't know how I missed this... I guess it was when we were moving and I wasn't reading blogs. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine anything more frightening than to almost lose your child. It has changed your life, and I'm sure it has changed other people's lives as well.

Ugh hospital bills... it is absoltely amazing what they get away with charging.

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

I have been out of the blog loop for a week or two and I had no idea that happened to you. Soo sorry to hear that you had to deal with that. It is truly scary. I am glad that Caleb is OK.

As far as the hospital bill is concerned, I agree the prices are necessary but out of control. Of course, there is no dollar amount to having a safe child:)

Alicia W. said...

I know, I work in medical billing and it's so hard explaining to people why they are being charged for these outrageous prices. I can't even explain it because I don't think it's fair. Since working for our hospital for 9 years I have seen healthcare costs sky rocket year after year. Do you know I'm STILL paying on Brea's hospital/birth through payroll deduction and now that I have Brody I just had his rolled into hers.. My kids will probably be in middle school before I'm done paying for it. don't even get me started on insurance. I deal with those shady bastards every single day on the phone. Thank god for a week off because I don't miss it one stinkin bit.

Thanks for sharing that because believe me, I work in medical billing and I couldn't agree with you more. :o)

drewmark19 said...

My sister's son fell out a shopping cart when he was very little and was unconscious for 45 minutes or so. It was a terrifying situation, involving an ambulance, etc. She said that for months after the event, she really sunk into a deep depression. She would sit there rocking him for hours, didn't want to leave the house much...things like that. I think when a terrifying situation like this happens, it just really hits home how fragile life is.

I was in a situation where I witnessed (through my rearview mirror) a serious accident occur right behind me. A car lost control, flew in front of a semi and into a ditch. The semi veered and hit a bridge. I had my newborn in the backseat. I honestly felt like I couldn't drive any more. It just happened so quickly.

All this to say, I totally get what you're saying. It's probably going to take you awhile to get that situation out of your head. It sounds like you're on the path to returning to "normal". (whatever that is!) Too bad that a humongous hospital bill had to be part of the equation. :/

He And Me + 3 said...

Yes, those bills are outrageous. Freaks me out to open them...and we have really good insurance.
Thank God that he is ok. That picture would give me chills too. So freightning.

Rachel said...

Hang in there! I can see you are still having a very hard time with this. Of course, you are! Just know that you have tons of support and if you ever need to chat, my e-mail is open.

And medical bills.... Grrr!! It's horrible.

Sneaky Momma said...

My heart goes out to you, Stephanie. Thank goodness he's okay. I would imagine it will be awhile before those thoughts and images stop running through your head. We're here for you to sort through it if you need to. :)

Mocha Momma said...

Thanks, Stephanie, for stopping in and reading my blog. And for your words of encouragement.

I just read about your Caleb falling into the pool, well the day you got the bill and you found the photo of him reaching for the ball.

Sounds very upsetting. I hope he is very fine now.

I'm feeling better today.

I love the picture of the 5 little toes sticking up there. That is sure cute. Cute toes on a cute kiddo.
More later,