Ever?

Ever feel like you just can't catch up for anything in the world? I am feeling that way today and I'm beginning to get frustrated beyond words. I wanna just give up right now.

Everything started a few years ago when David worked for a company that screwed us over with health insurance and we ended up with a $3000 bill that we had to pay. It took us forever to pay that off and when we finally did David hurt his back at work and ended up out for several weeks. When David's back started acting up again we knew we were in trouble...he was out of work for about 2 months and we had medical bills out the yahzoo and no money coming in. We made a deal with his company after him being out for about 1 month that they would pay him as a regular 40 hour a week employee and then when he went back to work any overtime he got would go straight to them until they were paid off. While we needed the money at the time and couldn't have done it without being paid someway it ended up being the biggest mistake ever....it took what seemed like forever to pay them back in full. After he was out that time we got short term disability so that if anything happened again we wouldn't be stuck in the same situation and asking people for money. Then David lost his job...he was out of work for about a month before he found the job he is currently at right now. He loves where he's at and is very happy...downside is that they don't have short term disability and he didn't hurt his back on the job so here we are again.

We've spent the last couple of years just trying to catch up. We've had family that have worked with us and been supportive thank goodness but we've been trying to come from behind forever now it seems like. Last month is the first month in a very long time that we were "okay"....we were able to meet and pay everything that we needed to...we had finally caught up. We were still living week to week and trying to save money that we had caught up and were on the upswing....things were looking better. Then yesterday David went to the chiropractor and they took xrays of his back. His L4 and L5 are still messed up but his L5 is "in horrible shape" with almost no meat back there at all. His doctor says that he thinks he can keep him out of surgery but that it is going to take a lot of time and work(which first of all is the most important thing!) He told him he wanted him out of work for the time being though...right now until Wednesday but after Wednesday they would reevaluate and it may be longer. We finally caught up and now here we are again. We are going to be behind again because he's not working. Not to mention that when you go to the doctor you have to pay everytime...nice except when you're not working then where is that money supposed to come from. I honestly am starting to think that there is someone up there that just doesn't want us to be ahead with smooth sailing. We struggle and struggle and pull ourselves up out of the dirt only to be knocked down again. I just don't get it and am so frustrated right now. Really there's just no other way to put it.

On another subject we played baseball again last night and they won. We play tonight again at 6. This is the game that determines it all...if we win then we head to state..if we don't then we're done. Here's hoping for another win!!! The kids have worked so hard and we want it so bad we can taste it!!!!

I'm behind on reading blogs...really I'm going to try to catch up but last night I was so upset when I sat down to read and blog it just wasn't there. I really had nothing left in me. Be patient...I'll catch up soon!

Little Bits

First off I want to tell you guys about an awesome sale that my friend Colleen is holding this coming week in her etsy store. If you guys remember the pictures I posted last week with the hat and bows that she sent for Allie then you know exactly who I am talking about. Her little girl Abby is turning 1 and she is holding a sale in honor of her birthday. Head over to Colleens and check out all of her amazing hats and hair accessories!!!!

We lost our game today...It was tough but the kids just weren't on their A game today. Of course the tournament is double elimination so we play again tomorrow night. The kids just weren't on today so we're hoping that they'll come ready to play tomorrow!!!! Here's hoping for another win!

David's back is really taking a hit with all this baseball going on right now. I have posted about his back problems before but he hasn't had any major problems lately...this everyday baseball has really affected him though and his back is starting to bother him again. His back problems started a couple of years ago and we've been through physical therapy,bed rest and injections so far. He's been in a good bit of pain for the last week or so. I'm calling a new chiropractor in the morning that is supposed to be very good and able to do spinal decompressions so I'm hoping he'll be able to get him in,get some xrays taken and hopefully be able to help David. If you have time please say a prayer for him and his back.

I feel like I'm washing the same clothes everyday right now...wait I am washing the same clothes everyday. I have tons of other laundry waiting...but right now I'm washing the same exact outfits each and everyday for baseball. If we can keep winning I'll gladly keep washing though!!!

Dos

Two down.....another great day at the ballpark. We played the team today that beat the socks off of us at our last tournament and our kids showed up PUMPED today! We won 21-12. We play again tomorrow at 3...here's hoping for another awesome day! David is the one in the blue shirt...isn't he handsome?(well at least what you can see from behind :) I'm so proud of him...he does such an awesome job coaching these kids day after day after day!!!!

One Down

One game down....another one tomorrow at 12. Kids were right on tonight and played awesome. We won 15-6....here's hoping for a great weekend full of good baseball!




And what's a post without a picture of my angel...I'm sorry-really I tried to post without adding her in but I just can't do it :)

Friday Photo Flashback

Alicia started this carnival because we all have old photos from years back that we love to share!!!! I always look forward to digging through my old pictures and recalling what was going on during that time to figure out what picture I am going to share that week. Head over to Alicia's and join in on the fun!!


This week was an easy one for me because today is a very important day in my life. Today five years ago my husband and I said I DO. This picture was taken the day after we got married on the sky lift at Gatlinburg. We went to Gatlinburg TN for our honeymoon and rented a cabin for the weekend. It was the most peaceful and perfect 3 days I have ever had...I vividly remember driving up there winding around the curvy roads towards the cabin in the dark. I remember feeling a peace come over me knowing that I was safe and in perfect hands...I knew at that moment that I was where I was meant to be and would never ever live another day without this amazing man that was sitting next to me. I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life...I just knew at that very second that everything was perfect. You see I never believed in soul mates...until I met my husband...we met and the world stood still. We climbed mountains to be together...went against what everyone wanted for a good amount of time and made some mistakes along the way but through it all we knew what we wanted and were determined to get it. I knew the day I saw him that my life had changed....remember from before now that I was already engaged but something was different about this man and I wanted to know everything. It still amazes me that there is one person in this world that was meant for me...when I look back at our lives and see how our paths finally crossed I see how all along we were heading in the same direction long before we even knew it. I feel blessed to be able to share my life with such an amazing man. We've been through alot-highs and lows-honestly there have been times in the last year that I had no clue if we would see today. We don't have any big plans for tonight...except for the baseball field of course...are you really surprised? :)

Catch Up?

I got alittle done this afternoon but not nearly enough off my list to make me feel like I accomplished anything. I got my kitchen floors scrubbed and everything in the house dusted other than my bedroom. I still have 3 windows to clean and vacuuming to do along with bathrooms and laundry but I'm working on all that. Of course I haven't touched my ironing of organizing the winter clothes but they there's always tomorrow for that I suppose. At least I hope there's tomorrow :) So I'm trying to catch up on stuff tonight...

*Did you guys know that if you call and ambulance and you are not transported then they still charge you???????????????? Remember my post from last week? Well there's more already to it....I got another bill in the mail this week from the ambulance service...they charged us $100!!!! I about had a heart attack and needed them again. Don't get me wrong....we needed them...when we originally called 911 Caleb was blue and when I put my hands on his back and chest it felt like he had thunder inside of there. He improved right when they got there and was doing much better. When they arrived they listened to him with a stethoscope,took his pulse ox and told us to go to the hospital. That's IT! Then I get a bill for $100? Seriously it's like robbery!!! They know you can't argue the amount so they can basically charge you whatever they want...INSANE!

*Baseball is insane right now....Lucas has practice everyday!!! David has been spending 90 minutes a day doing nothing but pitching balls and it's really taken a toll on his back. He's been complaining with it a good bit these past couple of weeks and it worries me!!! We start the district tournament tomorrow...it's double elimination and could possibly last until Wednesday if we go all the way....so an eventful next few days at least are quickly approaching us.

*This kid...not a doubt in my mind...he's going to be a baseball player. Not a day goes by that he doesn't touch a ball. He can throw a ball in front of him and hit it on his own....blows my mind!!!!!


*I have met a dear friend through this blogging world..her name is Collen and if you haven't visited her blog Ramblings of a Crazy Mom then you have got to head over there. I go crazy with 4 kids and she does it everyday with 5 so my hats off to her. Not to mention that she is extremely creative and has her own Etsy shop too. Right after Allie's birthday we got the most wonderful package in the mail from her. It was filled with the most beautiful headbands and the cutest hat ever!!!! Allie got sick shortly after that and I got behind on everything. A couple of weeks ago I took them out to get some pictures of her...that day she wasn't having much of it so I only got one headband and the hat on her. A few days later I got the rest but I haven't uploaded the last ones yet. For tonight here she is in all her glory...this was so much fun. She made a game out of pulling everything off her head...I'd put it on and she'd pull it off and crack up followed by me putting it right back on again...this went on for a good 20 minutes. Colleen-Thank you so much for thinking of us!!! I'll get the others uploaded soon and send them to you but I have to say I really love the ones of her laughing so much too :) You are so incredibly sweet and I'm so thankful that we met and for the friend that you've become!

Tidbits

They are about all I can come up with today. I have so many things on my to do list that I am having trouble even coming up with a coherent sentence right now. I need to get swimming lessons scheduled,dentist appointments scheduled,rosters completed for baseball tournament this weekend,load upon load of clothes washed,a pile of clothes about 4 feet high and 2 feet wide ironed,winter clothes that have been taken off hangers organized and put away for the year,dusting of bedrooms,vaccuuming of entire house(except for boys rooms-I accomplished that this morning),cleaning of bathrooms,scrub kitchen floor,figure out plans to get medals out to old baseball team since the league screwed up end of the season. I'm trying to get old pictures labeled,organized and backed up on cds just in case and seems when I have that open on my computer everything else seems to move at a snails pace.

I have not pulled my camera out in two days at least and I have tons of pictures to load. I feel so behind that I have no clue where to start. I'm hoping that I can get organized alittle as the day goes on and get an actual post out later today...until then I'll try and do a couple of things at least that are on my to do list.

Wordless Wednesday

I HEART Faces-Let's Hear it for the Boys

I HEART Faces is a photography blog that holds weekly contests for everyday people like you and me to enter our photos on. This weeks theme is "Let's Hear it for the Boys" which is fitting since Father's Day just passed. Since I have boys all over my house this is an easy entry.


I took this photo the other day when we were outside one afternoon. We were blowing bubbles in the backyard and I was trying to get some built up energy out of Allie. Caleb is just now learning to blow bubbles so I absolutely love the look on his face while he's trying it out for the first time!

Help!!!!

I have major problems! Well okay maybe not major but I have issues. I've wanted Photoshop for a really really really long time. I see what everyone does with their photos out there and I have longed and dreamed of being able to work the same magic with mine. I was absolutely estatic when I got it for Mothers Day this year..I got Elements which was exactly what I wanted since I knew that digging deep into the full version would be way too much for me to start with. So I loaded it onto my computer and now I have no freakin idea what in the hell to do with it. I've played and played some more and I'm lost....it is like a complete maze and I have no idea where to start. So that's where you all come in...well those of you that edit and use photoshop I suppose. I'm begging...down on my knees begging for help. I'll do anything...well almost anything for you :) but I need help. Is there like a Photoshop for Dummies out there or something? Or something I'm just missing...surely it can't be this difficult. I started trying to edit this picture last night...I took it of Allie outside the other day...one of the main things I wanted to do with it was to brighten her eyes up alittle..the way the sun was made her eyes appear alot darker than they are...those of you that follow me know that she has the brightest most beautiful blue eyes ever and they just don't look that way in this picture. I want to try and get the shadows off her face and I just want it to be beautiful...of course she's beautiful without editing but I can't figure it out. I got so mad at it last night I almost said very dirty things to Photoshop. So here I am pleading for help...give me all the tips you've got and I'll be in debt forever to you!

Friday Photo Flashback

Alicia hosts this weekly carnival called Friday Photo Flashback. It's when we all scan our old photos and share them with each other. Since I love looking back through old photos this is perfect for me. Head over to Alicia's blog at More than Words and check out everyones pictures.


This picture is from when I was around 11 or so. My mom will kill me for posting this picture of her :) Love you! We were camping for the weekend which we actually used to do quite often. I used to think it was the most boring thing in the entire world...there would be nothing to do and my parents would sit around and read books all weekend...what I would give to have one of those weekends again! Geez....check out my hair...it's absolutely BRUTAL! The dog was my life as a child. His name was Midnight and he was a toy poodle....I got him when I was 5 years old...well he was technically a family dog but he loved me the most :) I absolutely cherished this dog!!! He died when I was 21 and it was honestly like losing a parent. I miss him each and every single day!!!!

Back to Reality

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since the scariest night of my life...the night Caleb fell in the pool was truly one of the most horrifying experiences I have been through. The first few days after his accident I spent the large majority of my time thinking about every second leading up to when he fell in. I found myself thinking about life in general and was absolutely shaken to my core when I thought about how close I came to actually losing him. I actually found it difficult to go there several times because when I did I fell apart. I'd go in his room while he was sleep the first couple of nights home from the hospital and simply watch him breathe just like I did when he first came home from the hospital after he was born. As the days have passed by I've found myself thinking about it alittle less...getting more and more consumed with the everyday stuff that goes on. I still have moments that I go back to that night and how terrifying it was but they are spread farther apart now.


Yesterday I was looking through a folder of pictures on my computer...I have tons and tons that I haven't looked through yet. I found the pictures from the night of the pool party and one of them stood out like a neon sign. I remember taking this picture..it was taken right after I took his life vest off and he was playing with a ball. I was right beside him at the time and at the same time I clicked I told him to get away from the side of the pool. I remember taking him aside right after that with the ball in my hand(that I had gotten out of the pool)and telling him that he couldn't do that because he might fall in. He went about to another area and played some more. Looking back this picture gives me chills because there isn't a doubt in my mind that this is most likely how he ended up in the pool. Looking back I think of everything I could have done differently...I should have just taken him away from the pool,taken the ball away,held him in my arms and not let him down....it's all going through my mind.

Ironically right after I found this picture we got the mail and looky what paid us a visit yesterday. It was the bill from his hospital stay. Now remember we got to the hospital about 10 pm on Friday night and left about 9 am Saturday morning....we weren't even there for 12 hours. Now it was definitely needed and I do not regret going....but seriously..we were there for 12 freakin hours!

Look at the total!


The price for medical care these days is completely out of control!!!!


On the back of our hospital bills it breaks things down and tells you what the charges were for. It's got to be the most expensive hotel in town...we went to his room at 1:00 AM and left at 9:00 AM. For 8 hours in the room they charged us $785.00
Then comes the physician fee...I told David I wondered exactly what that entailed...is that for our doctor or would it be the doctor that was on call at the hospital...the one that met us in our room after they moved us to the pediatric floor...the one that spent a total of 5 minutes in our room...held a stethoscope to his chest and looked in his throat...all for a total charge or $234.60 for 5 minutes remember.

My goodness....I think I know what profession I need to go into! Seriously I know that we needed to go and I couldn't have lived with myself if we didn't...but when I saw what they charged us for 12 hours of care my mouth fell open. Then on the back it tells you of course that you may receive additional bills for radiology and from the actual doctor at your pediatricians office...I'm sure we have those coming...the joys of the mail truck.

Wordless Wednesday

Hop Over

I'm not here right now. Today I'm Jill's Super Sneaky Friend so head on over to her blog and check it out. I'm so far behind from the weekend that I have 3-4 days worth of blogging to catch up on. Hoping to get that done in the next couple of day...I haven't forgotten about everybody!!!!


While you guys are here though...remember the little girl I told you guys about last week Lindsay that got a heart transplant? She came into a little trouble yesterday and is currently on ECMO. Please say a prayer for her and her family today that she may recover quickly and head over to her blog if you feel so inclined to leave them some love.

Smarter with Age?...I think Not!

I'll start with the back story first. When I was in high school my church youth group took a trip to the beach. It was a yearly trip that we all looked forward to all year long...you know one of those where you feel like you're getting to spread your wings alittle while you're gone...one of those where you really don't have as much supervision as everyone though you would...(mom and dad....even after all these years..I did not say that!) We went to Isle of Palms in Charleston and were gone for a week...parents were splitting the week up to chaperone and my parents had the second half for the trip. A day before my parents were supposed to come we went out to the beach...spent hours out there. I'm not one to lay out in the sun and never really have been..I have fair skin and laying out in the sun just doesn't work for me. We were in the water and before I knew it hours had passed before we headed back in to our rooms. I knew I was burnt very soon after we got back to our rooms and I think the first shower I took after the beach was the last one I took for a couple of weeks. The next morning I was in some of the most horrible pain I have ever felt in my entire life. My parents were coming late that day and I remember talking to them with tears in my eyes. I was burnt so badly on my shoulders and chest that I had blisters 3 inches wide and 2 inches tall. It was BAD! When my mom and dad got there I quickly moved to their room(that tells you how bad I was hurting since I wanted to room with mom and dad,right?) After going to the doctor when we got home and having to take oatmeal bath after oatmeal bath...treating blisters left and right and weeks I finally healed. Ever since then my skin has been very sensitive though...I burn very easily not only because of having fair skin but because in a way it still feels raw on my shoulders from years ago.

Fast forward to this past weekend...we had the first allstar tournament and were at the ballpark pretty much all weekend long. We got to the park on Saturday morning and as soon as we got there I realized that I forgot to bring sunscreen for Allie who bless her heart also has been blessed with fair skin like her mama. One of the parents had some in their car and got it for me thank goodness so I started putting sunscreen on her. I reapplied it several times throughout the day and she got alittle red but was in very good shape at the end of the day and was spared being burned! Although I didn't realize until I got home Saturday night that I was so concerned with applying and reapplying on her that I completely forgot about myself. I knew I was burnt but it wasn't too bad so I wasn't very worried about it. Sunday I was sore and still walked out of the house without sunscreen again but used some again at the park on her and she did fine. I got home last night and was so burnt that I felt sick. I was knocked out at 8 and could hardly move. Now I have tiny blisters all over my shoulders and the past 24 hours have been torture!!!! Holding a baby while she's going to sleep and laying her head on your shoulder is pure torture...I could bite through nails at those times during the day. Taking showers hurts..applying lotion hurts....my hair touching my shoulders hurts...moving hurts....lifting my arms hurts...putting my hair up hurts....basically everything hurts!

So you would think that I'd get smarter with age...NOT!

Friday Photo Flashback

Alicia over at More Than Words has this blog carnival every Friday. We are all able to dig into our old photos and pick one to share with everyone. Head over to Alicia's blog and join in the fun.

This week I picked a picture of me and Allie when we were around the same age give or take a month or so. I always laugh when people see Allie and say that she looks like David because Allie is the spitting image of me when I was a baby. When I look through my old baby pictures it's like looking at now.

This is me:

And here's Allie:

Now what do you think?

It's Back

Our house is back to normal...loud and crazy normal that is. The older two boys have spent the last week alternating at their grandparents house and oh how glorious it was. Lucas got the first part of the week from when he got out of school last Thursday until Monday night when all stars started and then Jacob went from Monday until yesterday afternoon. It wasn't 10 minutes after Jacob was home but the chaos ensued. I figured out while he was gone that a large majority of the problems that we've been having around here stem from him. I've called him my Dennis the Menace for a while now but seriously each and everyday he grows more and more into that name. He lives to get into something that he's not supposed to. When he wasn't here Lucas was well behaved and calm,Caleb was calm and wasn't getting into trouble but when they were all three back together the volcano erupted again. In order to get everything calm to a certain degree I really think the answer lies in how we manage his behavior. At least it's clear and now we just have to figure out how to do it :)

Allie is still pretty fussy. She isn't running a fever anymore though so that's a good thing. She also has a tooth coming in at the same time as all of this other stuff so I'm sure that is just making things more difficult for her. She has wanted nothing more than for me to hold her for the last 5 days.....I've obliged :) I hear that once the rash starts that the worst part is over though so I'm looking for a non fussy day soon! On the other hand she's as cute as ever!!! Think she's comfortable? This is where she ends up every morning!

My Sweet Red Girl

Can we ever catch a break? Allie's been fussy and very tired for the last 4-5 days. She started over the weekend running a fever and throwing up. I took her to the doctor Monday morning and they thought it was probably just a virus so they wanted me to watch her for a couple more days(since of course we don't use antibiotics around our house unless absolutely necessary). Last night she started breaking out in a rash but I thought it was just heat rash since we've been at the ballpark so much and it's been in the 90s everyday here. This morning it had spread so I called the doctor back and took her in. She's got roseola and the doctor said it will probably spread more before it gets better...all this while teething too. Bless her heart...I just wish I could take it away from her because she looks miserable! Apparently roseola is the virus and it starts with a cold/upper respiratory thing then goes to a high fever and then the rash. I hope it disappears soon....we need a break around here(of course I'd take this anyday just to have her in my life)!

It's Started

First Day of Allstars=First Injury



This boy plays with heart,soul and alittle bit of mouth.

Allie's 1st Birthday-Part 2

DISCLAIMER: TONS OF PICTURES

I'm sure everyone thought it never happened...Allie's Birthday that is. I am finally getting around to posting pictures from her actual birthday party. I still haven't done her video yet for the first year but I'm going to get to it! Things have been so busy around here with baseball that I haven't had time to get other things done.

Allie had a blast at her birthday. My moms were the only ones here so it was low key and she did great. Allie doesn't do well around lots of people in small spaces. She loves the ballpark and does well with people there but even still if she sees someone she doesn't like or hears a deep voice she loses it and it's hard to get her composed again. I did a princess cake for the big cake and then for her smash cake she had a giant cupcake. She dug right in!!!! I wanted to get a picture of it sitting on her high chair with her right there but as soon as she saw it she started reaching for it...then the second I put it down she was immediately in it. Oh my..what a mess!!!!!! It was such a highlight to be able to share that day with her...I'll never forget it! I'm still just amazed that I've been blessed with a little girl...I can't believe it. When I got pregnant this last time there wasn't a doubt in my mind that we were having another boy...I mean we just didn't make girls...it wasn't in our genes. The day we found out she was a girl was the day my grandfather died and we were headed out the very next morning to Oklahoma..I remember walking in and telling David and he just broke down in tears. There are still days that I wake up and have to tell myself that we have pink in our house. Something about a girl....just like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day! I can't wait until we can dress Barbies,play with her dolls,have a tea party and play dress up. I'm incredibly blessed!




She got a swing from one of her grandmothers. Of course it had to be PINK! She loves it...we've been outside the last couple of days and she absolutely loves to swing..I've got pictures of her first time on it but I'll save those for another day.


I think I've created a monster. Lucas got this camera for Christmas from his grandmother and loves it. Downside is he's always right beside me trying to get pictures and half the time Allie won't look at me because he's right there too. Sometimes it drives me insane and I just tell him he's gotta get out of my way :)


This was her favorite thing...her other grandmother got her this and she absolutely loved them. They're drums that play music and light up...I couldn't get her attention away to open other presents because she was so caught up in these.


She had to see them from every possible angle!


I still think she's the best gift opener of any one year old I've ever seen! She's fast and efficient!


As soon as she opened this walker/stroller she was on top of the box and spent the better part of the next week on top of it. She would crawl up and play and play and play. We just now took it out of the box this past weekend and put it together.


Cheese!


I love this picture...it's like she's saying "Is this all mine?"


She dove head first into it...no hands no nothing...all mouth!