Thursday, May 20, 2010

What To Do?

See this little girl?

She's adorable - Yes she is. She can be absolutely irresistible and that's a large part of our problem.

You see this little girl has been rocked to sleep since the day she was born. I get her to sleep and hold her for a little while before putting her in her bed. When she wakes up in the middle of the night - which she ALWAYS does(she has only slept through the entire night a handful of times in the last 2 years) she comes in our bed. And she sleeps wonderfully in our bed.

Well problem is that she has put a kicker in our schedule. I still rock her to sleep and hold her for a while but when I get up to put her in her bed and walk down the hall her entire body tenses up. As soon as I start to lift her in her crib she goes stiff as a board and completely wakes up crying. 2 nights ago I left her in there to cry-that lasted for about 30 mins before her Daddy went in and got her. Yesterday at naptime she did the same thing and I left her in there for 50 mins before going in. She won't even lay down when she's in there-she just stands up in her crib and screams the entire time. Last night she did the same thing so I took her back in our room and got her back to sleep - after that I just put her in our bed and she was out like a light.

So all of you with wonderful advice what do I do? I've thought about going ahead and changing her bed to a toddler bed so I can at least sit in there with her and get her to sleep in her bed from the word go but I don't know if that's the right thing. She'll be 2 next week but I don't want to switch her over too soon of course right now she's not sleeping in there at all so what harm could it possibly do? Do I let her sit in there and cry until she finally goes to sleep and if so will she actually finally go to sleep? She stands in there and cries so much that she's sweating and hot and upset. It's such a horrible thing to hear her in there crying it out and yet it doesn't seem to be working either.

I have read that she could be experiencing separation anxiety. It sounds about right considering everything going on right now. Everytime I leave she freaks!!!! We can be at the ballpark and I can walk away for a minute and she acts like I've left forever and is absolutely uncontrollable. She does the same thing at home if I leave to go to the store. It's more than just oh I don't want you to go kind of reaction.

So tell me what comes next because right now she is ruling our house and it's not agreeing with anyone else around here!




Kelly said...

Sometimes a new bed means new things. If she is excited about getting a new bed, let her pick out her bedding, and then tell her that with her new bed, comes new things. Try putting her in there by herself and letting her fall asleep.
I used to rock Chase to sleep too...I have learned with the girls. They go to bed on their own.
Good luck!

Windy said...

I'm not much help - but I think if you put her in a toddler bed right now, she will never go to sleep - she can get out of it with no problem. Mine were all rocked to sleep and never woke up when I put them down, but as soon as we put Karson in a toddler bed, he started coming in our room:)
Good luck, I know you would love to have this resolved quickly!
And BTW - she IS the cutest thing:)

Liz said...

My first two co-slept with us....we then decided not to do it anymore and it was very difficult to switch them over to their own beds....we pretty much had to wait until they were old enough to understand (about age 3)....then the next 3 never slept with us...I just put them down in their crib for nap time and bedtime awake and the put themselves to sleep....ugh...I am sorry I wish I had some good advice......all I can say is sometimes sleep is the most important thing (esp when you have 4 active kids) :) were was nick that broke his arm :)

Everyday Mom Designs said...

Not sure what advice to give you... just be patient...

But I do know that we changed Leala's bed over to a toddler bed when we moved into our new apartment... so she had to have been 19 months old... and she was fine with it...

Like I said, I don't have much advice, but that we switched Leala to a toddler bed earlier than you're thinking about and she was fine on that part..

Veronica said...

Gosh, this is a tough one! I probably have no room give advice because Audrey is a terrible sleeper these days! She used to sleep in her own bed until shortly after we moved her and Alyssa into the same room and then she decided to hop into Alyssa's bed! Now she can't sleep without sis!!!

Anyhow...maybe you could try doing the toddler bed thing but possibly add to it a bedtime routine of sorts. I know that life is busy but you could try to do bath, storytime, prayers, etc all in the same order each night so that she knows what comes next?

Hope things get better for you!

Annie said...

Oh gosh...I dont have any advice...but I do know how hard the cry it out method is!! I hope that it gets better SOON :)

misguided mommy said...

with brandon we did the toddler bed and still had to rock him. with codi we skipped the toddler bed and went to a real bed with guard rails. that way they felt extra comfy and very old, plus it was compfy for you. then we put a tv in his room so he would go watch wubzy alone and just fall asleep. for some reason the big bed just worked better. i gave brandon a regular bed at the same time and same thing, he would just go hang out and fall asleep or rob or i will go lay down for ten minutes and watch a show and bamn hes out

Cassie said...

How long has she been doing this? If it has only been a couple of days it might just be a stage?

I started letting Jackson cry it out when he was 4 mos old. For the first 2 nights he cried for about an hour each but eventually went to sleep. Now he sleeps through the night every night unless he's sick and he almost never starts crying once we put him down. However, I don't really know how that would work since Allie is old enough to stand up (at the time he couldn't obviously so he really had no choice but to go to sleep LOL).

Wow that wasn't really helpful was it? But maybe you can come up with some kind of incentive? Or maybe find a book on sleep training? I agree w/the others though, I probably wouldn't put her in her own bed yet either, not while she is going through this.

Stacy said...

Zoe went right into a toddler bed when she wa about 20 months old. She stayed in her big girl bed all night.

I knwo it's rough on you and her not getting any sleep.

Lyr said...

I'm am going to be no help... I had it pretty easy. But... I will be praying for you and hope that bed times become easier and easier! ;)

Alicia said...

I'm actually not the person to give advice on this subject because my 6 year old will still sleep with us sometimes! LOL

steffenboysmom said...

That's a tough one...She has had her way for two years and she won't be broken of that "habit" overnight. It will take some time and consistency. It will not hurt her to cry. It may drive you insane though. ( get some ear plugs)

Try sitting on the floor by her crib, but make no eye contact or body contact. If it's separation she's afraid of, this will assure her without touching her.

This will take some time! The worst thing you can do is give in. Stay Strong!

McCrakensx4 said...

Oh wish I could relate...both of my boys were, and still are, awesome sleepers and have really never had problems like that (with sep anx). Hang in there and be consistant! Cute pic of Allie though!

armymomky said...

Hi...I'm a blog hopper and just found your blog linked on another one I was reading.
I was reading this post and wanted to let you know that Supernanny has a learn-to-sleep-alone routine that seems to work for many people. It would take too long to list it here but I'm sure if you google it, it would pop right up. Don't know if you've ever watched her show or think it silly, etc., but she really does have some great ideas. :-) By the way, Allie is adorable and of course, that's why it's so hard to let her cry it out! I was there once, although my youngest is now 16. She was my worst sleeper and still is--I rocked her too and due to moves and nightmares, etc., she often slept in our room--on the floor. Or in the hallway in front of our door when we wouldn't let her in! (only happened once) Some kids are just bad sleepers I guess!