Alive and Breathing

I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. Things have been so hectic around here it seems like I've been going in circles day in and day out. I hope to get caught up on blogs in the next couple of days and get started back posting also. Jacob has been sick for the last couple of days. He started with a headache on Christmas Eve and has been running a fever since then. We took him to the doctor yesterday and he has strep throat so he's on meds now. Of course you all know how I feel about meds..if you don't then click here for background. It was torture on Christmas day..I felt horrible for him and many times just wanted to wrap everything up for him all over again. Hoping he starts feeling better soon! So we're here and I'm going to try and catch up with everyone very soon. I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Not here

I'm still here but just don't have it in me to blog right now. I'm going to catch up with everyone this weekend and get my comments rolling again :) Have tons of pictures but just not up to talking about it today..hopefully tomorrow. Hope everyone has a great Saturday!

It's here!

This is where Allie's hands can be found 98% of the time right now. Yesterday her first tooth broke through. You can rub your finger against her gum now and feel it(well you personally can't but you get the drift) :) She did amazingly well getting that first tooth out...I am shocked how happy and sweet she is...I am so incredibly blessed to be a part of her life. Seriously...when she wasn't sleeping well it occured to me one morning that she might be close to getting her first tooth so I looked and could see that it was almost there. Up until two days ago I didn't even realize it was so close. When I saw it...I begged her to hold it in..I mean it..I really did!!! I pleaded with her to please stay little longer and to just keep that tooth to herself for a while longer..I just wasn't ready for it..hell what I am saying..I'm still not ready for it! It's getting here though. You still can't look in her mouth and visibly see anything yet but I can feel it and of course she knows it's there. Hopefully she isn't showing me that she really isn't going to listen when she gets older :)



I still haven't caught up on everyones blogs yet. I wasn't even on the computer at all yesterday. I really am going to try and get caught up very soon so please forgive me for not commenting right now. I'm trying to get things together but some days right now it's just more than I can handle.

Behind the Horses Ass

Whew..what a last few days it's been. I have to say I felt alittle lost yesterday. I got up in the morning and sat down to check my email and the phone and computer wasn't working. The phone finally came back on about lunchtime but I couldn't get the internet to work until last night. I have a ton of catching up to do with everyone so I'll try to get that done today and/or tonight hopefully. I'm trying to get things organized and cleaned up for Christmas. I like to go through toys before Christmas so that we can clean out stuff they haven't played with for a while in order to make room for more stuff they won't play with since they get so much stuff :)

Thank all of you for your comments and uplifting words to my post the other day..you have no idea how much I have leaned on those in the past couple of days. It's been rough but I'm still here and he's still trying so I suppose that says something. I really can't explain to someone who has never gone through it how incredibly tiring and difficult it is. There have been more moments than I can count that I have had enough and I just don't want to continue anymore but I do and we have another day. It's a constant struggle every second of everyday right now but I want for all of you to know how much your words mean to me!

Not Me Monday

It's time for Not Me Monday again! Head over to MckMama's and check out what it's all about.

I did not put our Christmas tree up a week ago and take 7 days to finish decorating it.

I did not allow the kids to put a few decorations on above said tree and then proceed to move them around to where I wanted them. I know that Christmas is for the kids and I am not one of those "people" whose tree has to be just right.

I did not have to do lists each and everyday last week and I most definitely did not accomplish anything on them.

When Caleb woke up at 730 on Sunday morning I did not go in his room and tell him to go back to sleep since it was a rare occasion that noone was up and I had been up with Allie all night and just didn't feel like getting up yet.

I did not go to Ihop on Saturday morning and change Allie's diaper in my lap while we were waiting to be seated. Seriously who uses those nasty changing tables anymore? Can we say germs? YUCK!

I did not forget everything I was going to put in this Not Me Monday post!

Pray for this family!

I have been following Sara's blog for a while now. She and her husband are in China at this very moment anticipating meeting their daughter tomorrow morning. Her name is Mya and she is an adorable little girl! Please pray for this family along with their two sons that are at home right now. I am sure she would love to get your comments if you would like to stop by her blog and leave her some love.

Confession

Ever look at someones life and think that it is so much better than yours? I do it all the time..I look at others lives and think they have it perfect. I am sure that at some point in time everyone has done this..you know when you are looking from the outside in most of the time you don't see the problems you only see the happy times.

I have been thinking about this lately because when you look at my life it looks happy. Everything looks okay but that is far from the truth. To be honest with you right now my life is in shambles but you would never know it from the outside. I don't show it to many people and I open up to even fewer.

My husband has been battling an alcohol addiction for years now but honestly he has never admitted it was a problem..that is until now. When we met I was in awe at home much alcohol he could consume and it not affect him although we never had any problems because of it and he was always honest with me..I just thought he was a heavy drinker.

About three years ago is when alcohol started taking over his life and mine. It still amazes me what a hold it can have on someone...to this day I do not understand it. I am told that unless you have an addiction to it you will never understand. I have been through every emotion possible in the last three years. The majority of them are frustration,anger,loneliness and sadness.

I have been betrayed,lied to and I feel taken complete advantage of. Most of the time when he would have what I called "episodes" he would just not come home from work. Do you have any idea what it is like to live day to day and now know if your husband was going to come home from work or not...and I don't mean if something happened because we all know that we really never know what will happen and when but I mean by choice. On numerous occasions he decided to go to a bar instead of coming home. He wouldn't call or let me know what was going on...he just wouldn't show up at home. I would call and call and he wouldn't answer his phone until after he was completely drunk and decided to call me late at night. Then I would have to deal with trying to talk him into coming home and not giving up and how we would work it out and that the kids were waiting on him and whatever else I could think of to say in order to get him home safely.

The latest episode happened a week ago today. He says he's done..he says that he can't do it anymore and that it is over. He's been attending AA each day since it happened last and for the first time since I've known him he seems serious about it but honestly I am absolutely completely terrified. This is it for us...I can go no further. I have stretched as far as I can and I have cried more tears than I ever thought possible. I have had to sit in these four walls and care for four children while he was God knows where doing God knows what at all hours of the day and night and I've had to be strong for them..I've had to lie to them..I've had to take care of them when honestly I couldn't take care of myself. I really don't even know how to take care of myself anymore. I take care of everyone else and I have to the point where there is no me left.

This has completely consumed my life and how I pray each and every night and day that it works this time. I pray that he's serious and that he remains committed to staying sober and making himself healthy. I have never wanted anything more in my life because without that I can't have what I feel I need more than anything in this world. I cannot imagine my life without him but I can't imagine living this way for the rest of my life either.

Part of me is so incredibly angry for what he's done and what he's put me through. I am so mad at what he's done to me. I am in pieces inside and really I don't think I will ever be the same. I don't trust at all. What a horrible world it is to live in when you can't trust.

I have needed an outlet for so long and have had so many things swirling in my head that I haven't known what to do with. I feel relieved right now and alittle calmer. Whoo...I am sure for family you know bits and pieces of this and if you didn't well then it is going to come out sooner or later. Otherwise I just have to get it out. I need prayers...prayers for me and prayers for David. Prayers that he will be able to overcome this addiction and our family will be able to make it through and for me well I just pray that I can find my way back and figure out who I am again.

I will be starting school again in the near future at night and online. I feel like I have to and to be honest I want to also. I need something..anything!

So incredibly honored!

My actions may not show it since I am so terribly behind in posting my awards and passing them along to the blogs that I absolutely love to read on a daily basis but I promise you all that I am so incredibly grateful and honored that you all have thought of me. This will be a long post since I have several awards to post and catch up on so bear with me here :)

bvnv nvzaavvaannnna annnnavaaaaaaaa v (That's from Caleb..he says Hello!) You should all feel very special as he's a VIP.



I received The Christmas Spirit Award from Alicia over at More Than Words. Thanks Alicia! If you haven't checked out her blog yet well then you better head on over there. She has got a beautiful family and I just love to read her posts everyday.

There are a few rules that go along with this award. They are:

*You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.
*The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with Christmas.
*You must link back to the person who gave you the award.
*You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas. If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space! :o)
*Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 45; it's up to you. But, you must pass it on to at least one person in order to keep the Christmas cheer going!
*Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment on their blog.

5 Things that I Love about Christmas:

1-I live for the excitement in my children's eyes. They just light up this time of year.
2-Everyone seems to be alittle happier than they are the rest of the year. I just love how everyone seems to catch the Christmas spirit.
3-I love when my parents come over first thing Christmas morning and spend the entire day with us. I look forward to this day all year long!
4-I love baking Christmas cookies and candies.
5-I love going around and looking at all the houses decorated and the beautiful lights.

I'm going to cheat alittle on this one because I have seen alot of people that have this one. So for those of you that follow me and don't have this award then it's yours! I know that's kinda lazy and when others say that to me I never take it but really it's all for you guys..I just don't want to mess up and give it to people that already have it. Everyone should join in on the Christmas season!



This next award I got from Stacey over at McCrakensx4. Thanks Stacey!!! I am so honored that you thought of me :) And since I absolutely adore reading but don't get the chance to do it much right now this is even more fun. The rules are to go to the book closest to you and turn to page 56 then go to line 5 and type that line and the following 2 or 3. Then tag 5 people. Now I'm not in my room or near where I read so this is kinda funny. The closest book to me right now is Lucas' library book. It's called Mostly Ghostly by R.L. Stine...so here goes :)

" Tara bonked me on the head with her fist. "Don't call him that." "You have a crush on Max," I said. "It's obvious." She bonked me again, a little harder. "Ow." Year, sure, I'm a ghost. But it still hurts to be bonked on the head."

So I am sure it is supposed to be a book you are reading but hey I have to play by the rules,right?

Now, I tag:

* Everyday Mom Designs
* The Chappell Family Blog * Amanda at The Family News
* Corrine at 4 Kids,no dog and living the American Dream
* Lori at Teacher turned Mommy

I received this award from Lori at Teacher turned Mommy. Thanks Lori..I just love reading your blog and your two boys are just adorable. I enjoy watching Colby and seeing the things he is doing with he and Allie so close in age together.



The qualifications to receive the award are:

A. Display a cheerful attitude.
B. Love one another.
C. Make mistakes.
D. Learn from others.
E. Be a positive contributor to the blog world.
F. Love life.
G. Love kids.

The Rules:

1. Must link it back to the creator
2. Post the rules
3. Choose 5 people to give it to
4. Recipients must fit the characteristics above
5. Create a post to share this
6. You must thank the winner

I pass this one onto:

* Liz at My Crazy Life with 4 Boys
* Hollie at All Things in Moddy
* Julie at Tales of Two T's
* Mimi at He & Me + 3
* Cassie at Southern Domestic Goddess

I got this award from Stacy over at The Crazy Cotheran's. Thanks so much Stacy! I am so glad that we found each other in this bloggy world!



"This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

I am passing this award onto:

* Alicia at Two B's and Me
* Momstheword
* Annie at 3's Company but 4's a Party
* Sara at Football and Fried Rice
* Windy at A Peek At Us
* Tami at Muddlin Thru Motherhood
* Amanda at proud mommy of four
* Tarah at Eyeglasses and Endzones

Okay I know you guys are tired so this is the last one :)



I got this one from Stacey at McCrakensx4 and Alicia at Two B's and Me. Thanks guys!!! You are great and I am so honored that you consider me a friend! When I originally started blogging I did it to keep family and friends up to date with the kids and everything that was going on. As many of you have done and also experienced they really don't ever comment :) so I was amazed when people I had never met started reaching out and I developed the most amazing network of friends in what I called bloggyland. I am so thankful for you all!!!

This award represents this:"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find, and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."

Now I am supposed to pass this on to 8 blogs..forgive me if you've already received it.

* Annie at 3's Company but 4's a Party
* Everyday Mom Designs
* Stacy at The Crazy Cotheran's
* Liz at My Crazy Life with 4 Boys
* 4 under 3
* Amanda at The Family News
* Alicia at My Two B's and Me I know you already have it but I just have to pass it back-you're always there for me and I appreciate it!
* Windy at A Peek At Us

It's been tough!

This past week and for a while before that things have been tough around here. It's been one thing after another..constant struggles and of course Allie hasn't slept well in over a month. I was up from 2 until 5 last night and up again at 7 this morning but as soon as I walked into the bedroom and saw this it just makes everything all better. This is how I am greeted EVERY morning and honestly everytime she wakes up. Each time I walk in to get her out of her crib and she hears my voice she breaks out in the biggest grin I have ever seen. I can't get enough of it! On another note..I took her back to the doctor yesterday because she was still running a low grade fever and had horrible diarrhea. They said that her ear was better and the acute infection was gone and they thought she had a virus of somesort. Of course they gave me another name of a medicine to use in order to help stop the diarrhea. I swear it's always something...they perscribe a medicine for everything. Of course we didn't get it and won't unless we absolutely need to. However on a positive note we stopped the antibiotic yesterday since her infection was gone..I'm not doing that any longer than I have to and now it's sit back,wait and pray that we see NO spots!

Wordless Wednesday

The rest of the story on Antibiotics..

I mentioned in my post about Allie's ears that antibiotics weren't necessarily a good thing. People were emailing me telling me that they worked fast and things would be so much better in a couple of days...let me give you alittle background and my comments will make alittle more sense.

When Jacob was 18 months old he had a sinus infection and his doctor put him on Omnicef. 7 days after he started the antibiotic we were at Sam's shopping...as I was putting him in his carseat I his shirt came up a bit and I noticed he had what looked like hives on his stomach. I immediately called the doctor and they told me to skip a dose of his medicine and give him Benadryl. I did that and we put Jacob in the bed with us that night. We woke up in the middle of the night to check on him and his entire body was covered from head to toe. He was swollen and it was absolutely the nastiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I had to turn the light on to make sure I was seeing right because I just knew that there was no way what I was seeing was actually happening. When the doctors office opened the next morning I was waiting on the doorstep..no call..no appt..nothing. Our doctor walked into the room and immediately knew what it was. She said he has Erythema Multiforme which is a form of Stevens Johnson Syndrome which was followed by her going and getting a textbook to show me pictures and research. She immediately told me that it was going to get worse before it got better and whatever I did to not go home and look on the internet...now honestly you tell me if you walked into the doctors office with your child and they were diagnosed with something you had never heard of would you go home and look it up..especially if they told you not to(that made me want and need to even more)! The last thing I asked her before I left that morning was whether or not he would be okay..I thought if he will be okay I can make it through anything. She told me she didn't know. I almost collapsed right there. David was with me thank goodness and I think I cried the entire way home. They put him on steroids and high pain medication and told us to keep him medicated around the clock. If we saw blisters or peeling to go immediately to the childrens hospital(which thankfully we have around here).

The next two weeks were spent back and forth constantly to the doctors office. David and my mom immediately took off of work. David told his job that he had no idea when he would be back and thankfully they told him to take as much time as he needed. My mom was with us for whatever we needed. My dad and stepmom took Lucas to stay with them so we could concentrate 100% on Jacob. We put a mattress in the floor in the living room and that is where we stayed. We took care of him for those two weeks not knowing if he was going to come out of it or not. It was honestly the worst experience of my life!

After going through that and learning more about SJS I found out that after Jacob had it that he could get it again...he could get it from another antibiotic(even one that he had taken before and not had any problems)..because get this before he broke out from the Omnicef he had been on that exact same medicine before. He could even contract it from a virus. There was no way to know if and when it would happen again and what would happen if he did get it.

I was completely against medicine...I would take him to the doctor but I wouldn't let them give him anything. We only used medicine in the most emergent situations. I wasn't taking any chances. We only did tylenol if needed because Motrin is another medicine that is sometimes associated with SJS.

Fast forward present day five months ago...I took kids to the doctor and Jacob had balitis..which I had never heard of either. Caleb had a sinus infection and Allie had her first ear infection at 4 weeks. Our doctor told me we had to do meds..that we didn't have a choice. Jacob absolutely had to have them, Caleb needed them because his sinuses had been messed up for weeks with no improvement and Allie was absolutely too young to fight off an ear infection by herself. We went forward with what she thought was best. Of course she assured me that it would be okay(what else should she had done..she had no way to know). 7 days later it happened again to Jacob...I called David at work crying. I couldn't go through it again..I couldn't lose him I just couldn't do it. Back on steroids and pain meds and David back at home with me. 4 days later Caleb started...I couldn't handle anymore of it...two kids with something so rare in the same family? Everywhere I had read and researched they said that it wasn't genetic and that it just didn't happen twice in the same family. Our doctor was shocked..she had never seen it either. I immediately took Allie off her meds...I wasn't giving her another dose. We started Caleb on the meds too.

Thankfully neither Caleb nor Jacob ever got blisters or started peeling. If that happens they send you to a burn unit and have to treat you as a burn patient. There is no treatment for SJS...steroids are highly debated when it comes to this disease. Some doctors say it works but many don't. Thankfully our doctor gave it to us! They say this is not genetic but I swear you can not convince me of that....there is just no way around it. SJS almost always breaks out anywhere from the 7th to the 10th day of taking meds and it doesn't have to be antibiotics also doesn't have to be something you have never taken before...remember Jacob had taken Omnicef previously to getting SJS the first time. We are incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful doctor..many and most doctors have no idea what it is when they see it. I won't see another doctor to this day...I'm sure they think I'm a hateful witch when I call in and they tell me she's full..honestly I have her home and cell number :) Lord I love her!!

I am a huge advocate for not medicating children from the word go. Many people walk into doctors offices and want something to fix the problem immediately. I understand wanting them to feel better but I have also learned first hand that most ear infections and sinus infections can be fought off by your own body if given the chance. I love those earache drops you can buy at the store and we use a lot of saline if needed along with Tylenol. Of course every parent has to make their own decision and I would never judge another for doing what they think is right for their own children.

So now you know...I hate antibiotics!!!! I can't stand them..each and everytime I put a dose in Allie's mouth right now I am terrified. I am constantly searching for spots on her body and wondering what is going to happen. Ugh...they are my worst enemy!

Not Me Monday

Here we go again!!! It's the day we all dread but now look forward to thanks to MckMama and "Not Me Monday"

Here's what I absolutely did not do last week:

* I did not buy a roll of Pillsbury cookie dough(the biggest one available)and say it was for the kids only to find myself going to that roll of dough each and every day last week to have a bite. No way..Not me..I would never ever tell my kids they can't eat raw cookie dough and then proceed to do it myself!
*I did not let Allie's 6 month birthday go by without remembering on that day that it was actually her birthday..and I absolutely did not realize that it had happened until 4 days later! That one was absolutely not me because I pride myself in remembering things like that and chastizing my husband when he forgets!
*I did not hide in the laundry room behind the baby gate to eat leftover candy bars from Halloween(yes we still have that candy)while my 5 year old son was standing on the other side asking me if he could have candy..I most definitely did not tell him that it was too early to have candy bars and continue to stuff my face behind the wall. No way...my parents taught me to share and I absolutely would have done so if said above had been the case.
*There is no way that I posted several times last week about how far behind I was in posting on awards for my blog and getting caught up..I did not continue to post on Friday saying that I most definitely was going to do those posts this weekend and I absolutely did not go to bed last night without having typed it out! Therefore I am not sitting here on Monday morning with no post!!! I am a terrible blogger friend :(

Join in on the fun..it really is therapeutic!

Check this out!!

For all you scrapbookiers out there you have got to check this out!!! Lori I know you'll be running to this :)

Jessica is hosting The Best of Baby Scrapbooking this week in which she is featuring one or two products a day which will also results in daily giveaways that will be revealed next week! All you have to do is comment on her post and you are entered to win..plus if you post her button on your blog you'll get an extra entry!

How much better does it get?

Enjoy everyone...Jessica is extremely talented and oh how jealous I am of her and the time she gets to dedicate to scrapbooking right now!!!

Grateful

To say the least it's been a crazy week. I'm hoping things are starting to get back to normal around here..of course even our "normal" is crazy..I think that's about par for the course for people with multiple children. I have promised the kids we would decorate this weekend so that's in our plans along with laundry and cleaning house. Not doing anything else major..moneys tight right now so we'll entertain ourselves at home and just enjoy being together. I hope to work a good bit on my blog...I have a huge award post I need to get done and tons of pics to edit and load. I would really like to get all that done also.

I would like to thank each and every one of you for your support during this past week. When I started blogging I did it because I could not find the time to sit down and scrapbook like I wanted to and didn't want to forget the little day to day things. I had absolutely no idea that I would find so many wonderful loyal friends out here in bloggy land! It's a whole nother world and it's absolutely magnificent!!! I can not say enough positive things about all of you...when I've been down this week(and trust me that's been often)somehow each time I would check my computer I would have a comment waiting from one of you and it would make me smile and lift me up each time. I love each and every one of you and am so incredibly grateful for all the support you have given me!

I just love this first picture of Allie! I can't get enough of it...check out the second one too...I am absolutely inlove with that roll on her back!!!!!!! Seriously,did you ever think it was possible to be inlove with a back roll? :)

Hope you all have a great Friday!!

The Jokes on Me!

Seriously...this isn't funny anymore. At first I thought haha..yeah everything happens at once but I'm done laughing now. It's just plain irritating! We all know the latest happenings around my house. David had his surgery,Allie wasn't sleeping,David fell and hurt his foot,Allie has an ear infection,I pulled Jacob out of school...then on top of all of it..just when I thought I might get a break David called me on his way home yesterday and was sick as a dog! Yep looks like that nasty virus that's going around caught up with my husband. Ran around constantly last night with my mom thank goodness being here to hold Allie and made up all five beds that I actually did accomplish stripping and washing yesterday(Yeah Me!) and got all the kids to bed only to have Allie left. Of course David couldn't be anywhere near her and honestly even if he could he wouldn't have been last night because he was out cold on the couch!(seeing a pattern here anyone?)I fed and put Allie down at 845..she was up at 9...I got her back to sleep and put her down at 1015..she was up at 11..I fed her and put her back down at 12...she was up at 4...I fed and put her back down at 5...of course now she's quietly snoozing in the comfort of my bed. Seriously I think they switched my baby with a newborn!

Break? What's that you say? No break in sight around here...seriously What's a break?

Wordless Wednesday

And the culprit is...

Do your EARS hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your EARS hang low?

Yep...you heard me right...it's the EARS..the left one to be exact.

So we are on antibiotics..which in our house is not a good thing! I will have to try and put a post together on that for tomorrow.

Please say a prayer for Allie..that she can get through this antibiotic round with no ill effects and her ears will improve with this treatment.

"Normal"

I am starting to think that our normal is chaos in this house! After the last week or more of David after his surgery he called me about 630 last night on his way home from work and told me he thought he had broken his foot. I seriously thought he was joking!!!! He came home and we proceeded to go to the urgent care center after calling my step mom to come and help my mom with the kids. I have to admit it's almost flattering that when others are left with my four children they need some help in order to take care of all of them since I do it by myself all day everyday. Kinda strokes my ego that I can do it on my own :) Anyhow bless their hearts...I have the best parents ever! So I took him and they did xrays..thankfully no break but a bad sprain and probable ligament tear. Let me tell you from experience these last two weeks there is NOTHING like hearing a grown man cry! My husband doesn't handle pain well to put it mildly and on top of that he refuses to be out of work after already being out with his surgery. So he's back there this morning..walking on the same said foot that he was told to stay off of for a week working away..seriously he is COMMITTED to his job...and I am sure as soon as he comes home he'll want nothing more than to hang out on the couch. I mean really....will things ever slow down and be normal around here...will I ever get a break? We still haven't gotten back to where he could fully 100% help me with the kids since his surgery and now this?

After our escapade at the urgent care center I came home and stayed up all night with Allie once again. I slept from 11 until 1230 and then from 330 until 6. We ARE going to the doctor today! As much as I don't want anything to be wrong I want to know what's going on so off we will go as soon as we can get an appointment.

After all that I am adding even more chaos to my life by taking Jacob out of school. He was attending a church preschool for the past year and a half and I have decided to take him out until he goes to kindergarten next year. I have always thought about homeschooling my kids however right now I don't feel as though I could do it with Allie and Caleb at home and Lucas does great in school so as of right now that isn't a problem. Jacob however is another story entirely! To this day after three months of school that is supposed to be preparing him for kindergarten next year and that we pay for he still can not write his name and only knows the letters J,A and O. I can pick him up from school after his three days a week and on the way home ask him what letter they did and most of the time he will have no idea. I have decided that I think I can do a much better job getting him ready for kindergarten here at home. So please pray for me and for Jacob. Lord..me for patience!!! I'm going to need it! And Jacob for an easy transition...I laid awake in bed last night for about an hour(an hour that I am sure I could have used the sleep since I was up all night after that with Allie)and stressed over the decision I had made. He loves the kids there and has made some great friends and to be perfectly honest with you he loves his teacher but he's just not getting what I feel like he needs out of it. I would put him in another preschool around here but there are waiting lists a mile long and to be perfectly honest with you Jacob isn't good at change. He has a hard time adjusting to new environments and I hate to put him through that when he is going to be experiencing such a big change with school next year.

So here we are...our chaotic life...I don't think it will ever be normal again but for now...it's our "normal" :)

Not Me Monday

Here it is again! It's time for Not Me Monday-the blogging worlds form of therapy. If you've never been a part head over to Mckmama's and join in. As for me:

*I was not one of those crazy price gouged stricken people that got up at 3:30 on Friday morning to shop the day away. Not me...I would never be that insane as to care about be amongst thousands and thousands of absolutely insane people for 8 hours.
*I have not become frustrated with Allie and her sleeping habits because I know that she is just an innocent little baby who can't help it and I am just thankful she is here with me and able to keep me up at night! I really do have to remind myself of that at 3 am!!
*I did not make a daily list of to dos almost everyday last week and never get it all done...I most definitely did not yesterday go as far yesterday as posting it on my blog to make me accountable and still not accomplish anything!
*I have not laughed at my husband who after having his "snippity snip" done is encountering the hellish growing back of hair "DOWN THERE" I most definitely have not secretly enjoyed it since he rags at me all the time about shaving everything!!! Paybacks hell buddy!