Friday, August 14, 2009
Alicia over at More Than Words started this Friday Photo Flashback for those of us that have scanned photos on our computers...it's a time we can dig through the old pictures and share some memories with one another.
This week is an emotional one for me. This coming Wednesday my second youngest is starting kindergarten. I can't begin to wrap my mind around that concept and honestly I haven't let myself sit and think about it yet but I know the time will come that I'll have to face it..I'll probably lose it then but that time will come. It's hard enough thinking that Lucas is entering the third grade..geez..where has the time gone but the fact that I am taking my itty bitty boy and putting him that big huge school scares the daylights out of me. I mean I can't possibly be there enough to make my heart feel better and to know that he's okay. I remember the first day that I took Lucas to kindergarten...I wasn't ready for that either but he was and he tackled it head on. Lucas adapts to change very well and never has an issue. Jacob is the total opposite. He doesn't handle change well and it takes him a while to warm up. If he gets a bad taste in his mouth then it's all over for him. Things just feel so differently now than when Lucas started school. When I had Lucas I was so young that I was kind of in overdrive for a while. Obviously I wasn't ready when he was born and suffered from post partum but I did what I had to do and much to my surprise with tons of support from family we made it through. When I had Jacob though I was a totally different person. I was older and wiser and knew alittle about what I was doing. I was ready and wanted it more than anything...now he's leaving me and I feel like my heart is breaking in a million pieces. He's still my baby...inside he's still so small and he still wants to be held and cuddled just like the little ones do...heck they all have their moments..even the 8 year olds want to be held every now and then even if they don't fit on your lap anymore. Honestly I just don't want to let him go. When Lucas was in school I was new to the whole volunteer thing and I did stuff for his class but wasn't fully involved like I could have been...I wasn't there every single opportunity I got. I've decided I'm jumping in...with Caleb and Allie and all! Baggage or not..I'm going to be there! I don't want to miss a second...I see time flying by so quickly and I'm grabbing hold and going to enjoy the ride. Lucas only has three more years of elementary school and then I'll have babies in separate schools so while they're under one roof I guess I'll just pitch a tent and live there if I have to :) For now here's my baby alittle over five years ago...geez...it doesn't even seem possible!
I love this picture...Lucas was sitting on the floor eating goldfish..I think he was playing like Jacob could actually share with him :) of course he couldn't! This was when they actually got along most of the time...oh those were the days!