Ever wonder?

My camera is broken so I'm having to use my older camera to take pics right now. I haven't found the usb for it yet so I haven't had time to load new pics. I have to send my newer camera off to try and get it fixed with Kodak. I have so many other things on my mind right now though.

Do you ever feel as a parent that you just aren't good enough?

I have been experiencing these feelings for a while now. Seems like I just can't quite get it all right. I have no idea what happened to my older two over the summer but they got out of control. Don't get me wrong deep down they are great kids. When they're in public they are very respectful of others,polite and extremely kind. You always hear it's what they do in public that matters but I sure would like alittle of that at home too. Seems for the past few months it has been nothing but chaos around here. What I would give for alittle peace.

Constant fighting,picking,being disrespectful,talking back and I could go on and on. My oldest for some reason started and his younger brother of course wants to be just like him. I have tried everything I know of...they're on restrictions...I've taken things away..video games...they can't go anywhere..no one can come over here...earlier bedtime and nothing works. I am out of ideas.

When I get really exhausted and can't think straight I blame it on myself. Am I doing something wrong? Am I not what they need? Why can't I get them to behave and be kind to each other and others in this house? Most of all how do you stop the whining from an almost 8 year old? That is one of the most annoying things...when he doesn't get his way it leads to persistent whining and crying and literally pitching a fit. Is this normal? I can't help but feel like I should be doing something different but I can't figure out what it is.

Frustrated doesn't begin to explain how I feel right now.

Ever feel like you're just failing..like you're not doing a good job and they are just trying to tell you in their own way? I go through days and feel so alone at times. Hubby works extremely long hours and is rarely home. When he is he's either at baseball with boys or playing it himself. To say that I am solo on getting things accomplished is no understatement. That's exhausting in itself! When he comes home he tries to help but that help is automatic yelling and fighting. Funny thing is most of the time they don't listen when you speak in a regular voice. Heck..half the time they don't listen at all.

I feel like I can breathe alittle now...at least it's all off my chest. I suppose I feel alittle better....after all I can gripe..it is my blog,right?

Odds and Ends

Things have been crazy around here. Seems I'm constantly trying to get things done and consistently moving yet not really accomplishing anything. Thought I'd share a few pics...nothing in particular just some taken here and there! Enjoy :)



Love this one!!!!

Friends

The boys had a couple of friends over for a while on Sunday afternoon. Caleb was down for his nap when they got here so I took them out to the pool. The little girl Lucas has known since he was 4. They were in 3K together(late birthdays so he's always the oldest in his class) she was his first girlfriend. He still adores her and says he is going to marry her someday. Funny thing is that Lucas and her brother became very good friends in the process. So now that he's older he is over at their house alot...good group together especially when they're outside and not tearing our house apart!

Allie Cat

I set Allie in the corner of the sofa the other day to go and fix her bottle. I put her there because I knew nothing could happen and she couldn't turn and go off the side or anything. However she can scoot apparently :) This is what I found when I got back:

Rare Find

I walked outside the other day to find these two playing in the backyard. Got some cute pics of the two of them together!





I love this picture of Caleb. It shows how truly happy he is when he is outside!



This is one of my favorites...just shows me how much Caleb trusts Lucas here. He knows he won't let anything happen to him!

Follow Me

I just found the Followers button for my sidebar...last time I looked it was only experimental. I added it on so click to follow me. :)

Pooh

Pooh has lived in our house for 7 years 10 months and 27 days. His time is limited. He has had hundreds of washings,dryings and numerous surgeries...he might have just seen his end.

Lucas(who turns 8 next month) has had Pooh since the day he was born. I was in our local mall alittle over 8 years ago shopping around and happened to stop in the Disney Store. As I was leaving I came upon this blanket. You know the kind that have the head attached to the blankets...what was so different about this one was that it wasn't the thick fleece or terry cloth material on the bottom. It was soft cotton with the edges lined in the silky material.

Lucas attached to Pooh very quickly. In the years that followed he carried Pooh everywhere with him and in the last 2 or 3 years Pooh has really begun to show his age. I did my last surgery on Pooh about 9 months ago...I say last because it truly was my last. To this day...and I mean right at this very moment as I am typing this Lucas is asleep in the top bunk in his bedroom with Pooh right beside him(makes me smile to myself just to think about it) he still has Pooh with him all the time. There is nowhere he wont't take him...he went to a friends over this past weekend and wanted to take Pooh. I casually mentioned maybe being almost 8 that just maybe did he think that it was time to possibly leave Pooh at home while he was at a friends...no way...absolutely not was his answer.

So the other night Jacob and Lucas apparently were messing around in their beds...they are in bunks. For some reason Pooh was hanging halfway off the bed and Jacob decided he was going to try and take him and pulled the bottom half of him...Pooh survived but is no longer one. Lucas insisted upon showing it to me and his grandmother that we could sew it back together even when I told him there wasn't a chance. So...

My first born who can drive me absolutely crazy at times but can be the most loving and thoughtful person the very next second...my little boy(who is not so little anymore)you and I have grown up together. We have been through an awful lot in your lifetime that someday you will learn all about...for now I hold it in my heart right with you. Although we argue at times and don't always see things eye to eye know that you are always loved and adored more than you will ever know. I will hold on to your Pooh...the second half of it that is...that can't be sewn back together and I will keep it safe for all the days of my life. One day when you are older and you have children of your own I will still have him. I will make sure that nothing happens to your cherished and visibly loved Pooh for as long as I live. Sleep well at night knowing that he is safe and will forever remain that way!!! Even though he can't be sewn back together...I will never ever let him go for he means just as much to me as he means to you in your heart!

I love you..my baby boy!

Here's Pooh after his last hoorah! Look close...or not so close and you'll understand why he can't survive anymore surgeries. :)

"Catching" Up

Oh my....I am SO far behind. Hopefully I will catch up this weekend...that's my goal! Things have been alittle crazy around here. Seems I have been incapable of catching up on clothes and getting anything done so hopefully that will happen this weekend also.

So Lucas started fall ball alittle over a month ago. He had his first game last weekend. He's catching this year and he has been so excited about it! Possibly TMI but just have to put it down...we had to go and buy him a cup since he was going to be catching. He was so ready for it he was up at 6:30 last Saturday morning. It was kinda cute! When it was time to leave he had to show everyone his cup and it was just the oddest but funniest thing I have seen. He did pretty good....still has to practice alot but he enjoyed it immensely. He reminded me of the tin man though...when he would walk seemed like the equipment was so big on him he would just clump,clump,clump...when he ran I couldn't help but giggle!!





Hardest part about ballgames is keeping the other kids entertained. Jacob is the gum boy this year in the dugout. Wanted to be the bat boy but that didn't work out...so we gave him the job of handing out the gum to the players. Caleb likes to be all over the place and of course Allie requires constant hands on attention. Without my parents I could never do it at the ballpark at this stage.

Here's my mom with Caleb playing...I get very few pictures of her...she hates to have them taken so any I get are treasured!!!



This is my mom #2(my stepmom but I don't like to call her that!!!! Just don't think of her that way) with Allie...she had blanket over her head because I'm a horrible mom...I forgot her hat :(

So far behind...

I have so much to blog yet not enough time. My hubby's been on call for the last 8 days and hasn't been home much at all therefore things have been crazy around our house. My camera was messed up for a few days so I couldn't get pictures loaded...finally got that done but need to touch them up. So that's my project for this week I suppose.

Lucas had open house tonight at his school. We were all supposed to go but David got a call and ended up having to go back to work so I left Caleb with my mom and took the other three with me. Lucas seems to be adjusting to the team teachingn program pretty well. He hasn't complained anymore about the class since I talked to his teacher the first week of school and his work seems to be quality. Hopefully he will blossom in this class and we won't have any problems.

Fall ball started this past weekend so I have pics from that...will try and get those posted tomorrow. Lucas has started playing a new position this year...can anyone guess what it is?...

Here's some cute pics that I have done...my little girl is just growing and growing! :(

First Day Antics

We tried...I swear I did but it didn't work. Today was Jacob's first day of school and I had arranged for Caleb to go to Mother's Morning Out two days a week while Jacob was there. They were going to be at the same school right down the hall from one another so he was familar with where he was going however he has never been away from me other than with his grandparents. I was worried about how he was going to do...I really didn't think he would take to it. We got up this morning and got ready...took our pictures and headed out. We took Jacob to his room first and I asked Caleb if he wanted to go down the hall and play. He said yes so off we went. He played for a while and I told him I was going to go and check on Jacob and I would be right back. He ran after me and started crying so I stayed for a while. He played great...about 15 minutes later he went in a house to play so I walked out while he was occupied and couldn't see me. Not two minutes went by before he realized I wasn't there and he was running for the door crying. I promise I tried...I REALLY DID! I stood outside in the hallway for 30 minutes...he didn't stop crying...I waited it out...I gave him ample time to calm down but he would have none of it. Most everyone was crying...only two kids were dry eyed but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him there when he hadn't calmed down after that long. They tried to give him a cookie,etc but he wanted none of it. Now for those of you that know Caleb you know that he will always calm down for food...he loves food...eats day and night but no..not today. So here we are. We're home.

I gave Allie a bath alittle while ago and here was our conversation:

Mommy:"I Love you Caleb...do you know that?"
Caleb:"Yes"
Mommy:"Do you love me,Caleb..do you love Mommy?"
Caleb:"Yes"
Mommy:"Do you want to go to school and play with toys?"
Caleb:"No"(followed by persistent shaking of his head)
Mommy:"Do you want to stay home with Mommy?"
Caleb:"Yes"

Okay he says it all!!! I still have two babies!! He loves me still...he's recovered and doesn't think I abandoned him...I'll try again sometime but for now he's here RIGHT WHERE HE BELONGS!


Before


After(safe at home)

Labor Day Survey

Updated: This originally came from "Rocks in my Dryer" forgot to say that...sorry :)

I saw this on Tami's blog "Muddling Thru Motherhood" and thought it looked like fun for today.

I am way behind on blogging and need to sit down and load pictures..maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

How long were your labors?

Kid #1, 7.5 hours
Kid #2, 6 hours
Kid #3, 5 hours
Kid #4, 3.5 hours

How did you know you were in labor?

I was induced with all 4. Terrified with the last one of going into labor at home so I was very lucky!!

Where did you deliver?

At the hospital with all 4.

Drugs?

Oh yes!!! With all of them...with my last they had to second dose me and pull the catheter out...only one side of my body was numb. That was interesting!

C-section?

No...worried because my third was transverse but we didn't know until it was time to push...doctor was in there trying to turn him...scary..thankfully he turned last minute.

Who delivered?

#1: Dr. Sykes
#2: Dr. Lattimore
#3: Dr. Lattimore
#4: Dr. Gower