Update on Caleb again

We took Caleb to the doctor yesterday morning and I was so incredibly nervous. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin all morning long because from what the doctor on call said I just knew he was going into the hospital. It terrified me what that was going to do to him - having to be held down again to get iv's in him and whatnot. Luckily our regular doctor thought along the same lines as we did. She thinks that the hospital should be our very last resort because it would be more traumatizing on him right now than it's worth. She said he is still in the 50% for his weight and as long as that doesn't start dropping then we are fine. If we go another couple of weeks and he hasn't improved then that number will probably start dropping off. She said he is still hydrated and acting normal so he isn't failing to thrive therefore we were going to try outpatient stuff for now.

She wanted us to not let him snack a ton in between meals - like whenever he wants yogurt throughout the day to not give it to him. Put real food out at dinner and just see what he does without saying anything. At the beginning of this I always fixed him a plate and put it out with the rest of our food but then I knew he wasn't going to eat it because most of the time I couldn't even get yogurt down him therefore I stopped fixing his plate when he said he didn't want it. They still have him on the appetite stimulant to make him hungry since he was constantly saying he wasn't hungry at all - even after 7 and 8 days of not eating. I can tell a difference now that he's on that medicine - he is actually asking for applesauce or something to eat.

She says that he has developed an oral aversion as a result of trauma which we believe to be when I took him to the doctor the first time and he was restrained. I am going through a lot of guilt with that right now - feeling like I should have just said no you can't do that regardless of if you need the swab or not. I've been through a lot with 4 children and have several times one has had to be held down but it just didn't occur to me this time that this would be the result - it's horrible and I feel so incredibly guilty for what he's going through right now. Then again I'm pissed at the doctor's office - surely they need different protocol to deal with small patients. I keep trying to decide how I'm going to handle it - I know I'm writing a letter - I mean really there has to be a better way to handle a 3 year old than traumatizing him so much that he won't eat for 2 weeks!

So she's referring him to an occupational therapist to work on the oral aversion and then to a nutritionist to hopefully find ways to get more protein,iron and calories in his diet since he isn't eating like he usually is.

All that and then we left the doctor and I asked him if he wanted doughnuts on the way home - he said yes so we stopped and when we got home he ate 7 doughnuts holes and one big doughnut :) I couldn't believe my eyes! Wasn't healthy but he was eating!!!! Then for lunch he ate a few goldfish and a couple bites of yogurt and for snack a container of applesauce. But when dinner came he was hungry and was so ready to eat - I was nervous! He sat down and ate 3 bites of his sloppy joe and about 7 tater tots - going to town and for the first time in 2 weeks he looked like he was enjoying food again - it was a beautiful picture!

Praying it continues and we've turned a corner!!!!!!! Thank you all for your prayers and support - when I was low and beating myself up I'd get a facebook message or a comment on my blog and it made me feel not so alone. I could not ask for a better group of friends. Thanks!!!!!!