Yesterday as the first day of school for Lucas and Jacob - it was a horrible day or at least it started out that way. They were both excited to go to school - Lucas walked to his classroom by himself and was fine. I walked in with Jacob and got all of his stuff put away and ready and as I was getting ready to leave I could tell he was getting nervous. He tried to cover it up but I could still see through. I asked him if he was okay as I left and he said yes but as he spoke I could hear him choking up and it tore into my soul. My heart broke and I wanted to pack his things up and take him back home with me. Instead I picked my heart up off the floor and stumbled out the door.
Then when I got home everything was blah - nothing seemed to go right and all I could think about was the fact that time flies by all too quickly. I was holding together somewhat until I talked to David on the phone and then I lost it. I started worrying about everything and stressing over Caleb and Allie. You see I have enrolled them both in a two day a week program for 3 hours in the morning at a local church preschool in town. One of the biggest reasons I have done it is for the socialization that I feel they both need and also so I can be at the school and not have to call on my mom to come watch them all the time. Caleb is ready - he's excited to go and everytime we drive past he tells everyone in the car that is his school! Allie on the other hand - it gives me panic attacks to think about her. I am going back and forth about her - I'm not sure she's ready. She's such a baby - I know she's 2 but still - I am home and it's my job to care for her. Maybe I should wait another year on her. I don't know what to do - I am not sure I can handle leaving her somewhere crying like that though - I'm not sure I have that in me.
So all that came out yesterday along with the fact of the older boys heading to school and it made for a splendid day!
I was so happy to see the bus pull up yesterday afternoon - which with all the hassle has ended them back in the car line again starting today - I could have cried when I laid eyes on them. The younger ones were so happy to see them too - they missed them so much while they were at school. With all my worry Jacob got off the bus and said 1st grade was the coolest ever! I asked him why he thought so and he said " We get to keep our water bottles on our desks ALL day long and we get to drink them WHENEVER we want to!!!" It just doesn't get any cooler than that!
7 comments:
I can't believe the summer is gone already and it's time for schools to start up already. sigh. I'm not sure I"m ready for this yet.
Look how handsome the boys are :) I did the same thing as you are thinking of doing. From the age of 3 and up my kids went to preschool at a church. Those 3 years for them gave them the structure and socialization they needed and now they both are confident and mature in how they conduct themselves at school.
Super cool having the water bottle out all day! I love that kids grasp the simple things in life. You did well momma! I am getting anxiety as school approaches knowing that Seth will be gone for half a day. He is beyond excited and ready and that gives me some peace of mind...but man am I going to miss my little buddy (and so will Skylar!). You got some great pics of the boys. :)
As for the younger two, a couple days a week for a few hours isn't bad. I can totally understand where you are coming from though with Allie...I would be the same way. But it gives you time to be there with the other two and that is important as well. It will all work out. If it is too soon, you will know.
Just remember, you are awesome!
Time does fly by! As for Allie I think she will be fine:) I am in a 1 year old class at school ,and they do great! It will be good for them and you!
awww....what an emotional day!! must be so hard after having them all home all summer!! So glad to hear that Jacob loved school after all....I would have just about died leaving him like that! It will be easier as time goes on!!
you are way too funny . . I would think you would love having them at school at least for the first few weeks. I know I cant wait for everyone to start school.
I feel horrible bc i didnt get Alex into preschool this year. :(
I just caught up on your post from the last week, you pore thing. Having to deal with leaving your babies & school starting, I know you have to be stressed & sad at the same time. I hope things get better for you! Your 4 babies will always be your babies no matter how fast they grow up. :)
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